An Open Letter to Panic-Buying Males In Texas

I live in Texas, where — in case you haven’t noticed — we’re in a bit of a weather-induced crisis. Yesterday, I braved the roads and ventured out to my local grocery store, where I was greeted by the sight of a burly, bearded man frantically moving about the bed of his Texas-sized pickup truck. The truck was parked obnoxiously at the store’s entrance, and this agitated Grizzly Adams caricature was standing in the back, urgently hoisting bag upon bag of groceries into the truck bed from three fully-packed shopping carts parked alongside.